Dare To Dream

Nick and I have had an on-going dream to one day own an eating establishment. He loves to cook (thinks he is the best in the world!) and I like to eat....and cook on ocassion. Had we planned better I think we could have realized our dream by now and maybe we would be "sittin' pretty". It has never been about the money, though. It was always about doing something we enjoyed and doing it together. Something we delighted in.
With him working overseas, we were apart so many years, that we want to spend our last, whatever that may be, together. I believe God will let us somehow realize our dream and give us the desires of our heart, for that is what His word proclaims.


Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart!   Ps 37:4

My Son

Trampus Michalsky

I sketched this after his High

School graduation in 2000

　

The Chest

In this chest you will find,

Treasures of memories I’ve acquired.

No treasures of monetary value, per se,

Simply special things collected from day to day.

It’s timeless design was simply born,

Though someone’s room it’s sure to adorn.

Among it’s treasures there’s lots of love,

As well as my mother’s favorite gloves.

Things that were precious, I have kept,

Many days over them I have wept.

Keep them in this chest I pray,

And pass them down to your child one day.

　

　

　

Donna Askew

January 7, 2011

Good Morning to you too...

Let me just get it out there...I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON! Having said that, I am, however, one who wakes thinking of God and His wonders and blessings. This morning I slept in, thank you Nick. Once again I was up burning the midnight oil because I could not sleep. I did, however, fall sound asleep in the bathtub sometime after 2 A.M.. I woke in a frigid bath around 3:45 A.M.. I had decided to take a hot bath hoping it would help me sleep...it did! 

After waking, Nick brought me my cup of jo, and I locked myself in the bathroom where I read my bible. Isaiah 40 was what God brought to the table, OR THRONE, (pun intended) this morning.  I often wonder if it is sacrilegious or insulting to God that I read my bible while on the "throne". I had no longer finished reading it, than I heard Nick speaking very loudly and sternly to someone. It was someone on the phone. Let's just say, there was no question that he was not happy with this person. Anyway, the point is....the devil always comes in to try to steal, kill, and destroy...your day, your life, your finances, your health, your mood. Take up your armor of God so that you may be protected. Eph6:10-18   

Living with a time bomb

Sometime in February 2010, I suffered a stroke. I say some time, because I really cannot tell you the exact moment it happened, or how many I might have had before knowing my speech was affected. On February 5, I went into day surgery to have surgery on my sinuses and to remove a couple of tumors from my vocal chords. As you might expect, I had no audible voice for several weeks. I have had many surgeries and even after the major ones, I have memories of waking from the anesthetic. This one I did not. I thought it strange that I could not remember one moment of coming back to consciousness or the ride home. I didn't give it a whole lot of thought, thinking it was the effects of the drugs.  I noticed throughout the course of my silent period I was having trouble coming up with the correct words I wanted to use when writing on the internet or a piece of paper. I even made mention to my sister-in-law that I was having these strange difficulties. My thoughts seemed confused and I could not focus on every day activities. After several weeks when my voice was healing, but still very weak, I noticed I could not form words as I had before the surgeries. My speech was that of a child's. I left out consonants when pronouncing my words and conjunctions when speaking a sentence. My ability to spell (which I had always prided myself for) seemed to have flown out the window. And though I recognized all of these changes, I didn't know what they meant or the reasoning behind them.


Other symptoms were also appearing. My left arm had been hurting me and the left side of my face was pretty much numb most of the time. I couldn't really hear out of my left ear, but I both of my ears were stopped up before the surgery due to clogged sinuses, so I didn't think much of that. I was having terrible headaches in the back of my head. Of course I was having headaches before the surgery also, but they were in the front, eyebrow area, where your sinuses are located. Nothing was relieving the pain. I am not one to take pain killers, and I only had over the counter ones anyway, but there were a few occasions I probably would have taken something stronger had it been available. I did use some peppermint oil, which relieved the stress of the headache.One night the symptoms got so bad that I called my parents and asked them to come over.....911 was called and I was taken to the hospital. My life has drastically changed since then and this is my story...

My husband, Nick, was overseas working in Iraq supporting the troops. We had lived apart going on about 10 years, except for the short time Nick was home during his bout with Kidney cancer (but that's another story for another time). Things were going well. He had planned to finish out his yearly contract and then come home to retire. CJ, our grandson, is getting older and at the age that I could not handle him alone anymore. He is autistic and mentally retarded. (another story) Anyway, after my stroke, Nick worked a few more months overseas and then came home. Meanwhile I was getting better every day. I was on blood pressure medicine and aspirin, and medicine for my headaches. We had insurance so things were easier financially. I could afford my medicine. Then Nick came home, we lost our insurance, I couldn't afford to go to the doctor or buy my medicine any longer. I was getting better. My speech had completely returned to normal. My energy level had increased. Life was going okay...except for the finance. So, I decided I needed to get a job. That's exactly what I did. I contacted an old boss and asked if she had any openings and luckily she did. Great! I was going to be in the working world again. Little did I know, it almost killed me, literally! I worked hard, long hours as a security officer at a chemical plant. I enjoyed the work and had worked there before, so I knew many of the people. People I really liked and enjoyed. The work was what got me. Twelve hours of running your tail off for $9.50 an hour! Literally! I would pray each day for God to help me push the accelerator to get home, that's how tired I was. When I did get home I would thank Him for getting me there. Then I would pray I could make my feet and legs get me into the house. They hurt so bad. Then I would thank God for getting me in the house. This went on for months. Then I started having some of the same old symptoms. Left arm hurting, face going numb, ear stopping up, ear pain, headaches daily, chest crushing pain. Several nights and days I thought I would have to call someone to relieve me at work because of the pain, but I didn't want to face the truth that I was having these TIAs (Transient Ischemic Attack). Mini strokes, if you will. More like a preempt to a major stroke. I had worked several days overtime and put in a lot of hours over the months of November and December. I was feeling the throes of it and had to work all through the holidays. I was stressed with getting the house decorated for the holidays, buying Christmas, and having time for the family, plus working. On Christmas day, while at work, I started having chest pains and other symptoms. I wouldn't call anyone to relieve me because they were all home with their families and I didn't want any of them thinking I was just trying to get off because it was Christmas, so I just ignored the pains. My head was pounding, but I just took some tylenol and continued my shift. I still had to have a family party when I got home, so I hurried home, got things together and had the family over. We had a great night. I continued to work for the next few days, then had a day off to recover. I was suppose to work for a co-worker on the day before New Year's eve, but was too weak to go, so Nick called in for me. I woke up that morning and walked into the kitchen. I felt like my blood sugar was low or I was dehydrated. I made it to the cabinet to get a glass, then to the refrigerator, but I could not pour the juice. I called for Nick to come and pour the juice for me. My head was spinning and I was so weak. My legs were like rubber. The refrigerator was holding me up, had it not been there I would have been on the floor. Nick put a chair behind me and literally pushed me down into it. It was after that moment, my speech was messed up again. My words were slurred. No one could understand me. I was talking like a baby or so that is what it sounds like to me. They ran many diagnostic tests after the first stroke and found no signs of anything wrong with me. I was the healthiest person in the world, barr a little high blood pressure. This time around they ran a new test and found the culprit. I have what is called a Cardiomyopathy, a disease of the heart. My particular disease is that I have blood clots in my heart. Pieces of that blood clot are breaking off traveling through my veins/arteries to my brain and causing the TIAs and the strokes. I have been having daily TIAs and my head and face has a strange feeling aura. I am on blood thinning medication to try and dissolve the clots, which has many side effects of it's own. I cannot go back to work, so things are pretty tight around here. We are close to going back into time using only the electricity we have to use...i.e. No TV, internet, cable, satellite, etc. I have applied for all the government assistance we have paid into all these years, but found, I don't qualify. So, I will live my last days, however many God choses to give me,  here, in the comfort of my own home, until they take that, and thank God for all the days He has given me.

Forever, O Lord, your word is settled in Heaven!   Ps. 119:89

Generousity

Something remarkable happened today. My daughter went to the grocery store and left some groceries on my doorstep while I was gone to the doctor with the cub. Now I know she lives on a very limited budget with all the children they have, so I know how much a sacrifice this must have been. I know God has seen her giving heart and is blessing her as I write.
Thank you, Barbie and Jason.

Life is too short, my friend!

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE...Getting back up is LIVING.

Broken, but still be valuable

As I was sitting in front of the fireplace, I noticed a ceramic mosaic frog that I have had for many years. I love that frog! It's colorful, and a frog, which I have a fetish for. It's been broken for almost as many years as I have had it. Then I looked beyond that frog and saw a vase. One my mother had given me several years ago. It too has been one of my favorite pieces. It wasn't because it was expensive or even beautiful, it was just special because, well, my mother had given it to me. Then I saw above my head, on the mantle, a very small elephant. Actually there are three of them, one has a broken trunk. I refuse to throw any of these prize pieces away. Why? Because, they are valuable to me. Even though they are broken, I still see their beauty, still have a place in my heart for them, and still want to be around them. I think that is how God feels about us. Even though we are less than perfect, broken, if you will, He still loves us, still wants to be around us and fellowship with us, still sees beauty in us, and most of all, still has a heart for us.